Talks #2

"What is it to sell your soul?"

"Clarifications must first be made.  Forget the mythical business transaction.  Thick, black smoke fogging through the seeps of your window pane at three in the morning.  A moonless sky.  Forget the smooth talking, shadowy figure with his persuasive reasoning and insightful questions, conning you into the momentary pleasure, reevaluating the foundation of every moral pillar.  Forget the point of decision, where you finally either give in and your soul escapes from all your holes in the form of pouring white light, or you hold up.  The devil screams in agony because he needs you to need him but you've given him no satisfaction and he then, in turn, blends in and disappears into the night while the echo of his cries are heard vibrating through the walls and up your bedposts...

Anyway, forget it.  The decision never comes.  It's already decided.  And there is no devil.  There's only you.  There is no hell.  There is only guilt in life.  The same way there is no heaven.  There is only sound and content piece of mind, and the ability to look you reflection in the eye without any diversions.  Afterlife is a lie, and that's fine.  The only slice of eternity that actually matters is the time we are alive.  If you live in guilt and shame and if you can't handle your own immorality then, yes, you've found hell and you burn until you die.  Your last breathing minutes are consumed with thoughts of wrong.  Please see how this is hell.  

Heaven is here.  Some achieve it easier than others. Some are born and blessed with natural goodness and see heaven daily.  Most others witness it periodically or in waves.  The darkness returns.  The good always returns, too."

"My questions are never fully answered."

He closed the closet door and stood up from a kneel.  He crept back into bed.