fresh clogger

I have been 24 since November 7th. I have been enjoying my new number for a couple weeks now. What I have not been enjoying, and what I have acquired on my birthday, is this new tendency to clog toilet bowls. Now, I'm not sure how appropriate this is, and I don't know how this fits in with the rest of my blog. But I feel as if I must explain this phenomenon. On November 7th, I took a number two that can only be described as massive. I knew that this was different then the million other times. Sure enough, there I was a minute later, plunger in hand, asking my roommate, Rocky, how to de-pooh this toilet bowl. Since he is an expert on such matters, I learned great techniques as well as important sanitary information regarding the cleaning of the plunger. After this incident, I went on to clog this particular toilet three additional times. My apartment toilet is very weak; the flush is pathetic and you can judge it's powerlessness by the sound alone.

What I don't understand, is why I clogged a super-strength toilet last night. Normally, toilets that are located in businesses have a far superior flush than a standard, house-hold toilet...this is something I've noticed through my years. I thought, "I could never clog this thing. I would have to take an obnoxiously large, stubborn number two." Maybe I never considered the dung that could be produced by my body. I am small-framed and eat relatively light. Yet, I clogged this toilet like I've been practicing for the past two weeks. Which I guess I've been doing! Keep in mind: this toilet was in a bar and there were people hanging out, chatting it up, on the other side of the bathroom door. God...there was no way they weren't going to know that this offense was my brainchild or, better, my asschild. I panicked. I grabbed the plunger. I pumped with all the life in me. But to no avail. The water level increased. Sprays and spritzes of water started shooting from the metal fixtures. What to do but close the lid, wash the hands, and flee the scene? That's what I did. Left it for the next poor guy to find the mess. I'm not sure if my diet changed or my body changed. Whatever happened, it happened on my birthday. And my life will never be the same.